I need help with my outline of my Sc-Fi?

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I need help with my outline of my Sc-Fi?

Postby crit33897 » Tue Nov 28, 2017 6:39 pm

So my story features two perspectives we follow. Yilvoxe and Josephine. My story has to do with parallel worlds but most of the story is set in a parallel world in 1895. I asked this question on a different forum and some one told me they didn't get enough info so I will try to give enough. If you have anymore questions just ask.

So the part I have a problem with is Josephine's story line. How her story goes is she was taken as a baby from her biological, Yilvoxe by Yilvoxe parallel self Rose. Rose was also adopted so she did have the same name as Yilvoxe before her parents gave her a new name. It is 18 years later in the parallel world set in a american 1909. Josephine is handed a letter by a man in disguise, scarf, hat, and shades. She takes it back to her home but Rose finds it and takes it away from her. A day later Josephine steals the letter back. On the letter it tells her to meet the same man who handed her the letter. She sees him on the day she stole it back. At the destination she meets a man named Eli who tells her that Rose is not her mother and that people are watching her 24/7 because she knows he would come. Josephine follows him to his place but are chased. They escape to his hideout and he shows her a necklace that is attached to a device that will give the wearer the power to travel dimensions. Roses men find them and they escape to another world.

They are in a atomic age america which is like fallout before the fallout if you know the game. Rose is the president and in this world a parallel version of Eli and Josephine have done the same thing as them but the two groups are not in the same world if that wasn't confusing. They try to meet back up while dealing with Roses men. Roses men kill Eli and accidentally make Josephines machine malfunction. She is transported to a place where space and time don't exist and sees all the worlds and blackouts.

She wakes up not remembering the experience like blacked out drunk to Ben and his men. They are a rebellion trying to overthrow the pope like figure of the city James. This world is set in a parallel London called Yahridge which has a magic system based on alchemy There are three classes to the magic. She was going to be killed but Josephine said she can help him in his rebellion. After helping him she is killed by Ben. Before she dies she witnesses visions of the future because of seeing all the worlds now knowing of future and past. Shes sees that her mother Yilvoxe will come to Yahridge to find something called the cure, kill Ben, and possibly stop his rebellion from being
complete.

What my problem is what could be something Ben needs help with? I was thinking maybe he needs an item but cant think of anything. If you have any ideas thanks.
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Re: I need help with my outline of my Sc-Fi?

Postby crit19292 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:49 am

It depends on how important is Ben. Honestly, just managing a rebellion can keep him busy enough. It can also make him paranoid enough to distrust someone like Josephine. Sometimes in a story like this making a character normal will have him appear interesting and special.

There is also the option of having him fall in love with Josephine. Poor guy managing a rebellion has to take what he can. Josephine has her own objectives, and the clash of hopes and personalities causes the death. Slightly typical, but people want a love interest.

Honestly, I would go with the first. It seems that Ben is only a limited character, so do not put too much work in him. Make him normal. Doing this I would believe would probably be a breeze of fresh air to your readers.
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